Posts Tagged ‘vagina’

A recent photo of me on our trip to San Diego. As adorable, sexy, beautiful, and fascinating as I am, I hope you can still tell I’m saying don’t fuck with me.

I will tell you the sordid detail now, why I am bleeding and won’t stop, why I bled last year for 67 days out of 90, why why why and why I didn’t know the full story of my own blood loss.

2 days after my ER visit in January, I had an in-office vaginal ultrasound (hey, buck up readers, did you think I wasn’t gonna mention my vagina?) by none other than the OB/GYN who had me in the stirrups in the ER.

Fast-forward to about 6 weeks ago when I went to the OB/GYN’s office, yet again, due to menstrual flooding (refusing to see the Offending Doctor, of course). When I was in the office talking to yet another doctor, thankfully not in stirrups, what did I find out? That back in January, on that very ultrasound, a 3+ cm fibroid tumor was found at the back of my uterus, embedded in the lining in such a way that I WILL ALWAYS END UP FLOODING WITHOUT CESSATION until I am on the other side of menopause and it goes away or until some hormonal or surgical intervention takes place.

Why my body was able to not bleed for almost 6 months (completely off of progesterone but under the loving care of my acupuncturist), I do not know. But once I started, I haven’t stopped. I’ve been able to cut back the progesterone to a more reasonable and less interfering dose, but I can’t go off of it until I undergo one of 4 options, each of which is fairly traumatic in scope to me.

It took me a while of reeling from the information (appx 3 weeks) that the OB/GYN, the office staff, the nursing staff, the radiology department (does that about cover it?) NEVER told me I have a tumor (fibroids are benign btw) before I could conceive of a plan. I have been under my acupuncturist’s care, but I was not in a place where I trusted the gynecologic practice I was with. The impending week away to California also meant that I had to wait until our return to deal with the fibroid.

I spoke with an MD in the same practice at 5:30 am a few Sundays ago and was very pleased with his attention, information, ability to listen and answer questions, and apparent intelligence. I will be seeing this MD on Monday and I will be discussing a few different options so I can make a decision and get off the progesterone and see what my body does in response to whatever choice I make.

I am scared and tired and sad and I got really sad news about my mother yesterday as well. Her health problems are myriad and long-standing, but she has been in a dramatic memory decline for several months. So, I am dealing with that as well, her only daughter and her primary caretaker.

It’s hard. Harder than I could ever have imagined. And I thought having babies was tough stuff. I don’t remember this part being explained to me. The sandwich years of my generation. Can I get a witness?

someone would like you to believe this is what women look like when they need to use the toilet

this is not what I look like


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I was going to post something light and airy today, something fun and gratitude-filled. But I found this on Facebook this morning.

Every time one of you fuckers asks what’s under attack, read it. And don’t get all namby-pamby and innocent and ask incredulously are women really under attack? and say things like it’s not so bad and nothing’s being taken away and any more of your condescending, male-entitled bullshit. If you are walking around with a dick between your legs and think that you have any clue whatsoever, you don’t. Just shut up when needed and when it’s time to speak use it well to support your wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, and grandmothers. CAPICHE?

If you came here from somewhere else and you think I’m in the She-Woman Man Hater’s Club, you don’t know me well. But I can kinda see where you might get that idea. On the contrary, I love you guys, but like Erin O’Brien says: get out of our vaginas unless you are invited in.

Okay, so Madonna doesn’t have anything to do with this post and I don’t even care much for her. But she really knows how to give the finger and her name is Madonna and this post is about women. So there.

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Neither John Lennon nor Paul McCartney could read music. I know you know that. But think about it—it’s awesome.

In one of the stalls in the women’s bathroom at Bruegger’s, there is a potted plastic orchid on top of the toilet tank. Its fake leaves are horribly droopy and its pink plastic flowers are not vaginal or labial or vulvar, but I couldn’t help but think of female genitals anyway. Please help.

Last year, I vowed to credit the photos that I reprint on my blog, but I simply don’t care.

I have never driven in New York City, the state of New Jersey, or any European country.

I was recently nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award, but I haven’t done anything I’m supposed to. It’s possible I still will. Just giving you a heads up.

In Improv, you learn to engage in “yes and” interactions with your fellow Improvers. You shall not “neg” their suggestions, but my behavior in response to being nominated is negging. Negging sucks. It feels really bad. What’s a blogger to do?

Those values.com billboards give me the creeps and I finally looked it up. FUCK THAT!

Why, when I looked up Hurlbut Paper Co. in google images, did a photo of Javier Bardem come up? I can barely look without falling over. Oh My God.

Hurlbut is a funny name, but the factory, in the Berkshires, is lovely. It is owned by Mead Paper. I want all factories to look like it looks. Old-fashioned American-made goods. Bricks and trestle bridges. The illusion that paper-production is clean. Please?

I remember being near Chillocothe, Ohio and smelling the air as we drove by a paper mill. Have you ever experienced this?

When I was in high school on the Speech Team (I know you are shocked at this admission of geekdom), I stayed overnight in a house in Chillocothe. It was one of the most amazing houses I have ever been in. It had transom windows above the bedroom doors. I love transom windows.

When I searched google images for Chillocothe, Ohio, I found this. If you click through, you will not be sorry, especially the menfolk (half the time when I tried to link to it, the image showed up directly; half the time not. I don’t understand wordpress, you know that).


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