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Posts Tagged ‘naked skiing’

You people are really obsessed with nudity. Just be naked. You won’t have to look around the internet for nude skiers and naked females so much. Quit it already. Get some mirrors in your house and take off your clothes. I mean it. All kinds of mirrors—wall mirrors, tall mirrors, hand mirrors, standing mirrors, beveled mirrors, antique mirrors. Have a party.

Also, you might want to try getting your own ass tattoo. You must be in an advanced state of boredom to keep popping over here to find such things. Ass tattoos? Seriously? Grow up and grow a pair.

Here you find yourself, at twinklysparkles’, where I might soon be removing my clothes the photos to which I don’t have the rights. INCLUDING the naked male skiers. There are 2 of them around here, you know. I am tempted to leave the pictures up, but I would first have to try to find who they belong to and get permission. See? This is my obsession. Copyrights. Yours? Nude male skiers.

Better yet, find yourself a nudist ski resort. Many likely exist in Sweden and Norway. They probably don’t even call them nudist ski resorts. It’s de rigeur over there, NORMAL. Those Nordic types walk around naked 24/7. This is what socialism begets after all.

If you do go, make sure you have some money because those places are a. cold, and you’ll need to invest in a lot of really high-quality winter clothing and b. expensive, due to those Norse types being Socialist and all. You’ll be helping them to pay for their high-quality health care and public playgrounds and public nudity, which I am sure is taxed at an exorbitantly high rate.

I feel much better now.

Turn up the furnace and carry on.

katherine_081111169_2

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The naked skier, he gets me a lot of hits. Other photos of other naked skiers are out there, he was just the cheesiest one. Not like the airborne happy man with his happy penis and happy balls flying happily in the happy bright sunshine and happy abundant snow.

I can’t ski, or at least I only tried once and didn’t like it. Even just on the Bunny Hill. Funny me.

As I mentioned in my last post, it never snows any more anyway. The last big snow was in October 2011, the one that broke all sorts of records and broke all of the oaks and maples to bits.

I can’t listen to the news too much. It’s too awful. My life is as challenging as it needs to be without it. Yet one lives in the world and enjoys the car radio. One likes to read a few headlines or cannot avoid them at all.

I was involved in a Facebook thread about guns last week. In the 6 days since, each day, there has been a tragic shooting in our country. These were apparently not RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNERS who needed to kill a rabid raccoon running around their chicken house or who needed to euthanize a sick farm animal (as was explained to me in the comment thread). Not people intelligently and legitimately defending themselves against an aggressor (how often do we read of the gun owner who had to defend himself against an intruder?). How about the guy who killed his own kid, “accidentally?” Are hubris and stupidity accidents?

Here is what one of the people, on the aforementioned FB thread, had to say at one point:

Kids, when taught about guns and how to use them and respect them, never have accidents.
(DIRECT QUOTE, COPIED AND PASTED)

Like the EIGHT-YEAR OLD BOY at the gun show in Massachusetts in 2008. Or this 12-year old boy, one of the gun “events” I came across in the delightful headlines on my computer this week.

Idiocy, ignorance, and hubris are not accidents; they simply come along with being human.

In the meantime, here is the Happy Skier.

He makes a big X with his body which I sort of love. I think if I were a man, I might not mind this too much. If this were me skiing, I’d have my black skirt on, the only article of clothing into which I comfortably fit in my current zaftig (overweight, anemic) state. I wouldn’t wear anything underneath and the skirt could just fly up in the air like a penis and a pair of balls. My boobs would probably hit me in the face, not like the skinny naked female skiers one finds photos of on google images.

A girl can dream.

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Paul and I will be your performing monkeys on Saturday, February 18 at 8 pm, in Pittsfield, Mass for the 10 x 10 Variety Show at New Stage Performing Arts Center, part of the larger 10 x 10 On North festival. We will be doing a sketch, written by Paul, which debuted last November in Northampton; he never got to see it because he was out of the country.

You know there’s not going to be snow (AGAIN) on Saturday night, so why not come see us instead of heading for Berkshire East? The drive into the Berkshires will be [roughly] the same, culture costs less than skiing, and you can have that romantic dinner you planned for Valentine’s Day but couldn’t do because Tuesday was a school night and you had to stay home with kiddies. To top it all off, Pittsfield recently did not fast-track a new meth clinic right downtown.

Again, your choice, this:

 

or something more akin to this

If you do show up, wave from your seat, blow air kisses, and feel free to buy us drinks (but at least wait until we’ve delivered our last lines).

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