The hard truth of bone
embryonic cells swirling
differentiating into
nuclei
osteoblasts
blood
♥
Dear readers:
As you well know, I have been struggling with pain in my upper body since April 2013 and before that with a couple of rib injuries in 2012.
Last December, things got worse—more pain and a sudden, painful protrusion on my L clavicle.
I started to feel really crappy, said to Hubby, “I am not myself; something’s wrong.”
I have been seeking help and answers the whole time—blood tests, lyme tests, RA tests, lupus tests. X rays; physical therapy, acupuncture, doctors. Everything I had been tested for came back negative—I’m strong and healthy by all appearances.
In January, I had a CT scan because of a concern my doctor had. Lo and behold, my ribs, sternum, clavicles, and spine are full of tiny fractures, ones that never showed up on 3 different x-rays over the last 2 years. These indicate multiple myeloma, a cancer of the blood.
More markers have come back which show certain proteins in my blood, further narrowing it down to multiple myeloma.
I need to use my blog again. Perhaps I will start slowly, perhaps I won’t use it much, but I need to refill my creative outlet here. I am steeping myself in a helpful, loving community and I ask for healing thoughts and visualizations and meditations. I ask you to see my ribcage and bones in white light, in liquid gold, healing, healed. Maybe you see violet, maybe you see the cool blue of water. Anything healing that you see when you think of me, send it.
Not only do I believe that my bones will be cleared of this after chemo, but I want the faulty signals causing the cells to have the wrong kind of party to be reconfigured so the right messages are sent to the marrow.
I ask you to chant and meditate and breathe for me and my family, for peace, for calm. It is hard for me to ask for these things, but I am learning, humbling. I know that quieting the mind and lighting up the chakras works, the visualizations help tremendously. I hope they help us all, givers and receivers alike.
I am on a healing journey and I am using the full force of what Western medicine has to offer. My adjuncts will be my acupuncture and my imagination and any healing thoughts and incantations you can send. I am smart and I will be with some of the best doctors around who treat mm. A world-class specialist at Dana Farber in Boston will likely coordinate with my local oncologist and I can still get chemo and day-to-day care locally.
♦
I will allow comments here, but I may shut them down if I find it too difficult to field and manage input.
I do not want information that you have from the internet. I do not want questions. I do not need new information about alternate therapies at this time.
On the other hand, if you have a delicious recipe for a high-protein smoothie, I say AMEN!
In other support places, I am emphasizing being honest with my emotions, not matter how yucky they may be, but also I’m trying to remain positive and open. The use of my blog, my writing, may be slightly different. This is my space. You are guests.
My blog is sacred to me and I will be using it as a creative outlet and force, a place where I will allow myself to go into the dark if my soul needs it. If you judge me for this, I will block you from my blog.
That is all for now. Send love and light and thoughts of calm sleep and freedom from fear.
Peace.
Hey Katherine, I hear you. Cathy
Hope I didn’t scare you McNally!
Not a high protein smoothie, but something I drank a lot when I was pregnant because it feels like liquid life is beet/carrot and beet/pineapple juice (throw in a bit of ginger if you’re like me and love ginger). I don’t have a juicer, so I always just treated myself at the Haymarket. I’ll visualize the white light of your bones, and I’ll also see that vibrant beet red blood filling you with health.
I love ginger. We have an old juicer, not sure it works still–parts are missing. I just use my blender, but beets wouldn’t be able to go in there. I love beets. We’ve talked about getting one of those monster juicers, but our kitchen cupboards and counter are filled to the brim. I like the blender just fine for now.
Thanks for the healing and colorful images! K
I don’t know what to say, except that you have my good thoughts from 3,000 miles hence. ❤
Thank you, Katharine. I’m glad you know. It was hard to know how to let people from farther away know without exhausting myself, but you were in my thoughts, too.
K
Thinking of you, my dear.Sorry to hear of your misfortune. Love and best wishes,Cass.
Cass, your frames surround so many of my favorite photos and artwork, all over the house, in my bedroom, in the hallways, in the kids’ bedrooms. I love all of it. You have a special place in my heart and life. I’m so glad I got to see you when I was in town in 2011. Maybe again later this year?
I love Kent. Please let anyone know who you know knows me (Cheril W of course, Abby Greer, Joan Inderhees, Joe and Michelle Culley, etc etc etc).
Thanks for the good wishes. I will be okay, just have to go through some hell.
Katherine
Healinghealinghealing thoughts, prayers, energies coming to you, and wishing I still lived around the block to offer tangible support. MKP
Thank you, Mary. I may connect on FB and ask for specifics some time. I am sure you have lots of intelligent information on how to get through….
Love to the girls and Chris!
Katherine
Love. Peace. Healing. Light. And plentiful excuses to laugh. These are what I send to you, my dear. xo
Thanks Pam. I’ll get to a show one of these days. No rush, but so good to know you are there. And I will laugh ’til I pee my pants.
XO, Katherine
We had some awesome fresh ginger from Tuesday Market back in the fall. I don’t know if that’s still kicking around any of the winter markets in Amherst or Northampton. We put about a pound of it into the Vitamix and juiced it — that’ll perk you up! The Vitamix has been a good investment. It’ll go through anything.
I bought some of that locally grown ginger (Casey who comes to Tuesday nights sometimes grows it) and froze it. It’s SO different than what you get at the store, at least I noticed a difference. I loved it. Maybe in summer?
We’ve thought of getting a Vitamix, but where to put it? our cupboards and counters are full. But we could find a way.
Thanks Peter. Good to know you are around, K
Sending healing thoughts from the south… visions of warm Gulf waters lapping the sugar sand beaches…. sunshine warming, healing, rejuvenating….
I have a non-fruit smoothie/shake recipe for you that I have every day:
1 Cup no-fat milk
1/2 to 1 scoop protein powder (I get Body Fortress whey powder from Walmart)
1 or 2 bananas
1 to 2 Tbs. Ovaltine (choc. malt)
Blend for a minute. Delicious and fills me up. Of course you can adjust the amounts to taste. You can add a spoonful of peanut butter or substitute if for one of the ingredients if you like.
All the best to you.
~Diane
Hi Katherine,
Just getting back on FB and reading this. Healing thoughts to you! When I went through Chemo I did a drink that was suppose to help the chemo to do its stuff and then get the hell out of my body:
In a blender :
Grapefruit,1 tblsp.flax seed oil and banana..
an acquired taste for sure, but I grew to love it!
xoRebecca
Good to know, Rebecca! I hope I get to see you one of these days before the next Holiday Fair! I would love to pop up to campus some time, just not ready right now. Soon….
Annie loves her bracelet!
XO to you, too, lady! Love, Katherine
A brave and eloquent post. Beaming crazy beautiful light right smack-dab into those bones and cells! Here’s a yummy smoothie: equal parts (a cup or so) milk and vanilla yogurt; big ol’ banana, chunked and frozen; couple tablespoons each of wheat germ and protein powder; ginger? sure! toss some in there (the candied kind is especially yum). Give it a tilt-a-whirl and drink to good health! And here’s a nice warm health-charger: your favorite tea, steeped for no less than 10 minutes, with minced ginger, a slice of orange, a tablespoon of Bragg’s apple cider vinegar (or any good organic vinegar with the “mother”), organic honey (NO MILK OR ANY OTHER DAIRY!) Strain, reheat if necessary, and sip it down. The kid in me loves stirring it with a soft peppermint stick. Hugging you from afar, darling…
I will try freezing the banana first because a. they get rotten anyway and b. my last smoothie wasn’t froze-y enough. Good suggestion. What really is protein powder and are there better and worse kinds? Or is it taste?
Will try the tea, maybe later. I know that ACV is a wonder food.
Thanks for the hugs and light. Love, Kaff
Katherine,
Sending healing thoughts to you. If I can help, please let me know. I’m just around the corner.
Best,
Susan Richardson
Thanks, Susan. How kind of you. You really are just around the corner. I have no idea if I’ll need your help, but the offer is much appreciated. Close in the neighborhood is a comfort!
Hope you are well. If you are ever out walking (brrr), you are welcome to pop in. We have been mostly walking the dog in the woods and if I take him around here it is just around the corner of 116 or a tiny bit up the block. Maybe see you in spring!
Thank you, Katherine
Positive energy being sent your way from your favorite free market capitalist libertarian. Lots of love too, Twink.
Keep Annie and Violet first in your thoughts. They need you and that’s where you’ll gather your strength to see you through this. Erf.
So glad to hear from you, alpha. Thanks for the good vibes and the reminder about my girls. Teenagers are so puzzling and their lives are filled with enough pressures so this seems particularly unfair. Being with them and being happy around them is a balm. I am grateful and hope my treatment, once begun, will be swift and fairly free from complications (fingers crossed, one day at a time).
Katherine, dear Katherine, you have my prayers! I see you already glowing in white light, actually–it’s very bright! I see you all, the whole family, in very beautiful blue watery light. I send you more of it. Love to you. Joy to you! And creative flow (which does seem a part of your healing). I see blue water, washing through your emotional system. Clearing, and renewing. I am visualizing your bones strengthening, and solidifying, and your blood purified, nourishing your body.
Namaste, and love to you all.
Namaste, Amy. Thank you! Hope all are well and you and S are having much fun with the baby and older sis! XO, Katherine
You are a vibrant force with a lot of love and creative energy surrounding you. You also know how to be joyful and how to appreciate blessings in the moment, because here is where they are. I will be thinking of you in my morning prayers…
Thanks Sandee. It’s great to have you around! Love my blog sister….
K
love, wholeness, energy, and spirit from both of us in california to you, twink.
ptd
Thanks. Keep it coming, I know those California vibes are, like, you know, better than east coast vibes.
XO! Love, Katherine
i’m sorry Katherine – i am recently trained as a reiki master and would be happy to do some reiki, if that would be helpful. I”m so sorry for your news.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, Janet! I may take you up on the reiki. Would love to pay, but may take one freebie if you are willing. I will email you. Katherine
Free…
Hey Katherine – I just read this and we are all sending healing thoughts from Austria to you.
Hi Todd!
By the looks of the photos, those healing thoughts might have double impact–so beautiful. It looks so lovely there. Paul and I were in Salzburg in 1992–I have some specific memories. It was February or March….dustings of snow and damp. We never made it to Vienna.
I hope you continue to have a wonderful adventure and I’m glad to know the healing thoughts are now coming from Europe…so great!
Love and kisses to you and Chris and the boys! Have a blast! Katherine
Hi Katherine,
This smoothie is high in protein and magnesium.
Creamy Cashew Peach Smoothie from, Nourishing Meals
1 1/2 cup raw cashews
2 cups water 2 large peaches, pitted and frozen
2 to 4 medjool dates, pitted
2 tablespoons chia seeds
1 tablespoon non-alcahol vanilla or 1 whole vanilla bean
Place the cashews and water into a high-powered blender and blend until smooth and creamy. Then add the peaches, dates, chia seeds and vanilla; blend again.
Yield: 5 cups
If you don’t have a high powered blender then first soak the cashews in water for 3 hours then drain. Also, make sure your frozen peaches are chopped up and use ground chia seeds.
Hi Teo! So glad you stopped in to my blog. I did see the update about this recipe on FB, too. I will try it sometime. I’ve never used dates. I may wait ’til spring when the peaches are in.
A couple of years ago, we went to a Medieval Fair and there were these folks making the best smoothies with nuts. I started to make some myself, but then forgot. I remember soaking the nuts first. I’ll def try this.
XO to all of you! Katherine
And if I make chocolate cupcakes with lime frosting?????
Margaret–YES! I am limiting my sweets these days, so I have room for any that you bring! I love lime everything and chocolate as well.
Thinking of you. XO, Katherine
Kath, somehow I missed this news and I feel awful I am just sending this now. So glad you have a fabulous support team there and the best doctors around… That Paul Ita is a rock star in so many ways 🙂 Not that it makes it easier, but I hope knowing all those people – and your virtual world- are rooting for you will bolster lots of healing and positive energy your way. Love from all the Songers!
Hi Eileen. It’s great to find family checking out my blog or maybe it’s scary. Paul’s Uncle Doug (Arnie’s brother) has been reading for years. I don’t hold much back.
Paul is a rock star and he’s mine! I’m lucky that way.
Take care and thanks for the positive energy! XO, Kath
Done.
And more love coming your way!!
Welcome and thank you, Summer. I am not sure how you found me. This may be the first time someone I don’t know has offered to send me love and by the looks of your painting work and YOUR BEAUTIFUL VIBRANT SELF, I can tell the love and healing will help me. Thank you. I can’t say more than that. I am bowled over. Looking for my spirit and body to heal significantly, miraculously….thank you for helping this process.
Actually, I know there are people who I don’t know who have prayed and meditated for me/on me, have sent me healing thoughts. I just remembered this and won’t forget again. We just don’t know how much power we have in silent meditation and love that we send out, do we? But it matters. I feel it!
Thank you, twinkly (Katherine)
I’m not sure how I found you either! But in the words of John Lennon:
It matters not
Who you love
Where you love
Why you love
When you love
Or how you love
It matters only that you love.
Peace 🙂