Last post of 2012. I think. Unless I write a poem or something.

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Last post of 2012. I think. Unless I write a poem or something.

December 31, 2012 by twinklysparkles

I think you can spell grueling with one l or 2. When I try with 2, my spell check gives me a red warning line.

I found out that the deadline for a chapbook competition to which I want to submit is NOT January 31, but January 4. How did I miss this? What was I thinking?

I am in the happy state of scrambling together my manuscript RIGHT NOW (except for this blog post).

Because I submitted a full-length manuscript back in July, I am in pretty good shape and this is only a 28-page chapbook.

This is not really grueling, but what is grueling are the voices in my head, the NO NO NOs and the YOU CAN’Ts and the THESE POEMS ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGHs and the YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOINGs.

Lie down, meditate, run, jump, hike, bathe, cook, clean, shovel, say om shanti as many times as it takes to kick the voices out and clear the mind and proceed. Do laundry, cook and clean some more. Make lists, clear desk.

I’m accepting any votes of confidence and encouragement from you, my pets. YOU. I need you.

One thing that is encouraging, all on my own: in looking over the manuscript from July (rejected, yes), I see, as with previous rejected manuscripts/poems, how many poems can be removed completely; I find words and lines that can be edited out. Looking broadly through my files, I also see that I have more new poems than I realized. I see that my writing is getting stronger, if not particularly varied in tone or subject, and I know that my ability to edit out pittances is better. I am earning a keener eye and ear.

This is the end of Year Two of my blog which I love knowing. I remember how scary it seemed at first, how exciting, how I felt on the edge of offense or scandal with each swear word or talk of sex or nudity. I read old posts and I know I have matured and gotten more comfortable. I know I am a better writer and that I can continue to improve.

I do believe this is my 400th post. I like the tidiness of it: last day of the year, 400 posts.

Good Riddance 2012!!!

Posted in Monday | Tagged New Year's, poetry, writiing | 16 Comments

16 Responses

on December 31, 2012 at 12:38 pm | Reply Alison

You ARE good enough. You CAN do this. You know what you are doing; and even if you don’t…do it anyway! I have confidence in you, my lovely, creative, vital friend.
- on January 3, 2013 at 5:44 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  Thanks, Alison! I hope to see you very soon! Happy New Year!
  
  K
on December 31, 2012 at 1:01 pm | Reply Katharine Coldiron

You are indeed good enough! Vote of confidence psychically winging your way.
- on January 3, 2013 at 5:45 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  Thanks. I got the manuscript sent out today and not too many problems leading up to it. I think your vibes worked. I sure appreciate all the help I can get….
  
  Katherine
on December 31, 2012 at 2:26 pm | Reply mrs. pt dismal

send it out woman! internal voices be damned!
happy new year to you, the kamper, and your lovely girls.
- on January 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  YES! I did send it. What else can a body do?
  
  Happy New Year to y’all. I am sure it’s cold out there. Here? Zero degrees last night. If it’s zero, is it really anything at all?
  
  LOVE, K
on December 31, 2012 at 7:35 pm | Reply Jotter Girl

Happy New Year! I am looking forward to 2013 and hoping to be more direct in what I am doing. In 2012 I felt very much like I was flitting from one thing to another and not really accomplishing anything other than overwhelming myself. I think 2013 is going to be pared back and concentrated. Looking forward to another year reading your poems and posts.
- on January 3, 2013 at 5:47 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  This is funny to hear. From this distance and only knowing you from your blog and FB, you seem completely organized and together. Keep fooling us even if nothing changes. But good luck with your plans!
  
  Happy New Year. It’s so fun to know you!
  
  Katherine
on December 31, 2012 at 9:03 pm | Reply Regina

Dear Katherine,
My fellow fried green tomato AT classmate! Oh the inner critic and trying to inhibit reacting to that voice. Regardless of what thoughts are rolling around in your head walk with the tides and know that you’re taking the steps to becoming the writer you were meant to be. May you remember how far you have come and find delight in your future steps.
xoxoxox Regina
- on January 3, 2013 at 5:48 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  The notion to use my Alexander thinking is so incredible. I don’t inhibit enough. Mostly, I try not to slouch at the computer. Sometimes I can quiet the voices. It just takes that split-second decision to non-do, but yeesh, it’s like pulling teeth…..
  
  Thanks for the encouraging words, Regina! K
on January 1, 2013 at 12:37 pm | Reply kamper

Aww, you got it girl. You got it just fine.
- on January 3, 2013 at 5:48 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  Aww……
  
  Love, K
on January 1, 2013 at 1:45 pm | Reply mrs. pt dismal

trust thyself.

emerson (via ptd)
- on January 3, 2013 at 5:50 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  What? Is the dismal man too busy to quote Emerson to me himself?
  
  (See what you get for being nice to me in the New Year? I promise I’ll do better if I can resist the temptation not to….).
  
  Happy New Year, pt and thanks.
on January 4, 2013 at 4:28 am | Reply Lydia

Love the pics, Twinkly, even with 24 degrees outside right now! Happy New Year, writer.
- on January 6, 2013 at 10:09 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  24 degrees? I didn’t know it gets that cold out there. I suppose it all depends on where you are in Oregon.
  
  I like the photo because I’m turned away. Turning my back on the old year….
  
  Happy New Year to you, too. Not sure you’ll read this. I’m so late in responding this week!