Miss Lilly, our beloved cat, died last night at the vet’s office.
I received a call this morning that she had a cerebral edema (swelling to the brain). As she had been on pain meds since she was brought in on Tuesday morning, we expect that she did not suffer. She made great strides in regaining some of her functioning, but whatever impact she endured caught up with her.
Thank you all for your well-wishes yesterday.
I feel badly that our kitty didn’t have a familiar place and familiar people to be with these last 2 days when she was so compromised.
2 cats in 6 months seems especially unfair to us, to them.
This is why Dakin asks you to make the cats indoor cats when you adopt. But Miss Lilly was 3 years old when we got her and when we tried to keep her indoors, she peed on everything. Once we allowed her out, no more pee, and an obviously happier cat. And eff those who say not to use anthropomorphic terms to describe what animals feel. She was happier when she was allowed to go outside, you dig? I know you dig.
She seemed to be in her element outdoors, following me around when I gardened, lying in the sun, taking dust baths (like a pachyderm!), bringing us more rodent (and the occasional squirrel or rabbit) tributes than I could have dreamed possible.
I want to kick myself for it, but the other day (literally 5 days ago) I watched her cross the street, but first she waited for a car to pass, and I commented to my kid that she seemed to know about cars and to watch for them. But I also qualified my statement—you never know when a cat sees something it needs to rush toward, you never know if a driver is going too fast on your 25-mph side street or if they are going 60 mph on the other big road you live on where your other cat was found dead in the street in the dark in the night on Thanksgiving Eve.
I once killed a cat in my car, so there’s that. I didn’t see it, broad daylight, I wasn’t speeding, I still remember it, it was a short-haired gray cat, with a light-blue collar. Fuck it.
Lilly started out as a pretty miserable cat, but we were able, with good, grain-free food, lots of love and patience, to allow her true temperament to come out. She was a sweet-natured cat after all, after months of cranky, swat-and-claw-at-all-human-hands behavior, as well as lots of bad poop and stinky farts. We laughed about it and marveled at the change in her disposition after we got her on the good food.
Now I don’t know if it is the busy corner we live on (our friend down the block also lost a cat to this infernal street), but I feel like I’m being punished for my folly of letting the cats out. I have never had an indoor cat and the older adopted ones needed to be outdoors, there was no other way.
Annie and I will go and dig a hole near where Willow is buried and we will get Miss Lilly’s body and bury her. This is especially hard without Paul and Violet home. So sad.
♥
We loved you Miss Lilly, we still do
requiescat in pace
twinklysparkles 
My heart goes out to you…….we have a shelf in the office with the velvet bags of ashes from the loving lifetimes passing through our home. We really understand your heartache..
I have never kept ashes of any of the pets we’ve had cremated over the years. The last 2 kitties, we were lucky enough to bury, a ritual which feels right to me. Not always possible, though…
Thank you for your sympathy. I am sad. Katherine
Our animal friends are so much a part of our everyday/present. Losing them hurts so much. My sympathy to all.
Thanks, Uncle Doug. Very hard–Paul and Violet are still in China and won’t be home until tomorrow night either.
Cousin Eileen said on Facebook that it’s hard to let go of our “fur babies.” I liked that one.
Thanks for the thoughts and hi to you and Dana! Katherine
RIP Miss Lilly. Thankfully she got to experience some of your good lovin’ (after a miserable start to life). A keenly felt loss, I’m sure.
Thanks, Alison for your double well-wishes, here and on FB. I know I don’t need to comment back, but it is meaningful to have the support.
Yes, I am very sad, it comes and goes, of course. It is all so unfair. K
Goodness, Twinkly, I am so sorry for yet another loss of a furry loved one. This post distressed me because of the death in February of our Old English Sheepdog, Abby, the loss that still seems unreal and breaks my heart. So now here you go through this cycle of longing, mourning, wondering all over again. Your post is so sweet and the picture of Miss Lilly….well, I blew a kiss to her on my screen. I hope my Feather kitty who has been gone for almost a full year now, has met your two. I just gotta believe they are sending kitty softness to our souls.
Oh, Lydia, I thought of you when this happened. Are your kitties indoor kitties?
Sorry to hear of your beloved Abby, too.
and yes, I hope Feather and Willow (both of the Willows) and Miss Lilly are having a grand time. I loved Lilly very much, such a part of the rhythm of the house, inside and out. Thanks for the kind words. I am very sad right now, Katherine
I’m so sorry to hear this. We have all buried too may animal friends, and it is never easy.
Thanks, Ray. Of course, you commented in the past, too, and sent along the cat poem about Chicken when Willow died.
It’s horrible and cruel, really, that we would lose 2 cats in a row to the road. I am angry and sad.
I am grateful we buried the body rather than leave her at the vet, we made a beautiful grave under a [scraggly] dogwood tree and we planted some sunny violas. This is nicer than in the fall when there were no flowers for Willow. Annie threw in several wildflower bouquets as well.
thanks for the thoughts, K
I am so sorry for your loss. 😦
Thanks, Katharine. My grief comes and goes. It’s the horror of death I hate. “The horror, the horror.”
Still meaning to be in contact with you soon in re: writing. Got caught up in spring break craziness. signed, the other Katherine