What have we got here? We’ve got me, laid out by anemia, due to too rapid and consistent peri-menopausal blood loss.
Peri-menopause, is it a taboo subject? Is it just something men and teenagers don’t want to hear about? What about all of those male OB/GYNs? What makes them so special? Why do they want to know about it, lecture me about it, be experts in the subject of the unpredictable ebbs and torrents of my blood, the blood that comes out of my darkest place?
Is talking about menstrual blood, women’s blood, worse than talking about other blood? Is it tiresome? It’s not the same as blood from injury, soldier’s blood or surgical blood, violent blood, blood from war. Do we talk about any of it or simply leave out female blood?
I remember none of puberty, none of “developing;” just from one school year to the next I went from being teased for being flat-chested to being teased for being large-chested. Even by my girlfriends, so you know it wasn’t sexist or bullying or anything. But things are different now, right? American culture having evolved as it has, we no longer pay much attention to breasts like in the good ol’ days.
I went in to the ER last night (Tuesday), perhaps as an overreaction to the light-headedness, slight vertigo, and nerves-on-edge for 3 days-in-a-row I had been experiencing due to the aforementioned anemia and due to the urging of the MD on call the night before (Monday) to go in that night. I had some odd notion that I could get BLOOD in the ER. I wanted blood like a vampire in a gothic novel wants blood, but not the feeling sexy kind of vampire. How can a condition so purely part of my sex be so unsexy? I know the answer. I know that owning this is part of graduating out of my reproducing sexuality into the rest-of-my-life sexuality, kundalini.
I think it’s completely wrong that this is the kind of thing that is associated with female blood:
I’ve never passed out in my life. I’ve never gotten blood in my life. Neither of these things happened yesterday either.
I can tell you that when the old (65ish, male) OB/GYN had me in the stirrups and told me to relax those muscles (direct quote), I later had a fantasy (and still do) of taking my strong right leg, tensing it as hard as I could and kicking him in the face with it. Sort of twisting his head away from his spine. A suberb peri-menopausal whiplash. It could be a new reason to land in the ER, in fact.
If he hadn’t been the doctor on call and if I hadn’t already been in the care of his practice since Sunday, I would have declined his “services.” However, if I add up the number of pelvic exams I’ve had in my life, one more is a drop in the bucket. Not that I’m resemble a bucket, au contraire, but you get my meaning.
The best OB/GYN I ever had/knew (do what you will with the unfortunate double entendre), was a good friend back in Ohio. I needed an OB/GYN for all sorts of things I experienced before my pregnancies (like not being able to get pregnant for a while and miscarrying twice). I saw both my OB/GYN and my lay midwife throughout both of my pregnancies.
Until 2 years ago, I had never had an OB/GYN in Massachusetts. I simply went to my fabulous (best MD I’ve ever been in the care of) Primary Care Physician for everything OR to my acupuncturist for things less medical. Now, I have an OB/GYN practice at my disposal, but I don’t have a very comfortable relationship with anyone there. I do love the Nurse Practitioner I’ve seen once, but I don’t like the OB/GYN I saw under duress last night. Sigh.
Once in a while Wednesday–what’s it all about?
What if all it took to please me was alliteration? I would LOVE that, my life to be that simple.
Here are some words for you until we meet again:
harrowing sepulchre pulchritude
How can pulchritude refer to beauty when the sound of it reminds me so much of paltry, pustule, and that doctor from last night?
Send loving, healing, iron-filled thoughts and images my way, please. Yours, twinkly
twinklysparkles 
Here’s some loving, healing energy from me…. I too however am flowing at the moment so I can’t afford to give you any iron-filled thoughts. HA I hope you won’t ever have to go through that again. Stay healthy my friend. Love you!
Thanks, Connie. I’ll send it back to you again. Yes, flowing….like beautiful blond hair in a breeze. Good luck and eat your kale and liver (ew! I won’t even eat liver, but I do try to eat a lot of clean beef). Love you, too!
This might not help with your bleeding, but it might help with your overall experience of peri~menopause. Check out womentowomen.com. I’ve been using their supplements, and it has truly been a life changer. And, no, I do not work for the company. But I stumbled upon them, and out of desperation, I thought I’d give therm a try. It really has made a huge difference….and I was shocked!
Good luck and hugs….hope you feel better soon.
Thanks, DDP. I will check out the link. Any info can be helpful. We all need support!
This is like a chick club. Cool.
Yes, but what will the menfolk do? One thing is sure, I will not try to look at their naughty bits when they are on their backs with their legs in stirrups.
First of all, I learned pulchritude from my 5th grader last fall when he asked me to help him with his vocabulary words. Oy vey.
We are in the same boat with this perimenopausal rig-o-marole. I had very much the same issues just before the holidays. Crazy blood loss, feeling weak just like you write about. Thankfully I was not anemic but I do have a polyp in the uterus which they say can make the bleeding so heavy. I will be having surgery on Tuesday to remove the polyp via a D&C.
I have just devoted a whole chapter in my book to this perimenopausal stuff. I’m glad I can write humorously about it although in real life, it ain’t all that funny!
Hope you feel better.
Catherine
Yes! The vocab words these kids learn are amazing. I know I didn’t have lists like my daughters’ when I was their age.
Oh, a polyp. I hope that means once it’s removed that the problems are resolved. So many of my peers are going through the same thing. We are all around the same age, so of course it makes sense. My mother had a complete hysterectomy when she was 42. I was so young. I don’t remember her going through anything and it was probably as bad or worse. So many women of that generation had hysterectomies and I think one didn’t discuss anything menstrual/menopausal. Not me!
Do I know about your book? Is this something already complete or forthcoming? DO TELL!!!
Thanks for your comments. I’ll stop by at JG to say “hi.” K