Poetry Jam XVII

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Poetry Jam XVII

October 9, 2011 by twinklysparkles

Blue Skies Above, Low Tide Below

Gulls squabble in the shallows
where the fishing is best

I lie down in the low-tide waves,
stroke the sand

my arms sweep
like I am rowing in a shell
but I am not going anywhere today

the soft sand begins to feel dry
in my underwater hands

piping plovers
move one-mindedly
like ants or flocking blackbirds

I stand and look at the horizon
upside-down between my legs
the waves almost touching my face

can I orient to this strange world
where the sky flattens
and color disappears?

I lie back down on dry sand
cold on my bare back
and whisper your name to the blue above

I called and you came
my love

I called and you came

October 9, 2011

This week’s Poetry Jam directed us to write a love poem (I “missed” last week’s Poetry Jam, ie, couldn’t write an apt poem to save my life even though the prompt was a juicy one). Just something light and airy today, gott sei dank!

Posted in Poems, my own, Poetry Jam | Tagged autumn, beach, blue skies, husband, light, love, marriage, nature, ocean, sand, water | 11 Comments

11 Responses

on October 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm | Reply lolamouse

Love it! The ending echos the beginning, like the repetition of the gulls. Very nice!
- on October 9, 2011 at 9:15 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  Thanks, lolamouse.
on October 9, 2011 at 10:20 pm | Reply brian

oo la…like that echo at the end…there is a subtle sensuality in this as well…love the beach and its rhythm…
- on October 9, 2011 at 10:58 pm | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  Brian (and lola, too)–it’s unusual for me to use that kind of a thing–the repetition. I’m not comfortable with it, but what the heck, right? Trying something new and I was feeling a bit light. I haven’t caught up reading the Jam poems yet, but I will pop over to see yours….
on October 10, 2011 at 2:12 am | Reply JInksy

I have to say sorry – for this reminds me of a horror story entitled ‘O whistle and I’ll come to you my love.’ But in the nicest possible way! LOL
- on October 10, 2011 at 9:27 am | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  Well, we can’t control what prompts a memory, can we, and isn’t that the point of a writing prompt?
  I like that it rang of something else for you. I think about this a lot–what precedes my writing that I don’t know or never will; whose words I’ve lifted because the tune of them is in my subconscious.
  I tried to do a little on-line research of that line and I came up with a Burns’ poem/lyric as well as a horror story by yet someone else. Very interesting! I love it!
on October 10, 2011 at 1:06 pm | Reply Helen

‘I called and you came’ ~ I love those words!
on October 11, 2011 at 9:48 am | Reply gautami tripathy

I like the repetition here. It brings out the sentiments so well…

alley and valley
- on October 11, 2011 at 10:27 am | Reply twinklysparkles
  
  Thanks for visiting, guatami. I love the poem you wrote that you linked to. It’s lovely.
  
  Thanks for the feedback; like I said before, the repetition is not typical for me and I am glad it seems to work for folks. I’m needing to break out of my comfort zone by trying some stricter poetic forms, I can tell. But I’m not quite there yet. A little busy in my days right now.
on October 11, 2011 at 11:47 am | Reply The Bug

I like this a lot – & I agree that the repetition is really nice.
on October 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm | Reply morning

it seems like a satisfying love.