Blue Skies Above, Low Tide Below
Gulls squabble in the shallows
where the fishing is best
I lie down in the low-tide waves,
stroke the sand
my arms sweep
like I am rowing in a shell
but I am not going anywhere today
the soft sand begins to feel dry
in my underwater hands
piping plovers
move one-mindedly
like ants or flocking blackbirds
I stand and look at the horizon
upside-down between my legs
the waves almost touching my face
can I orient to this strange world
where the sky flattens
and color disappears?
I lie back down on dry sand
cold on my bare back
and whisper your name to the blue above
I called and you came
my love
I called and you came
October 9, 2011
This week’s Poetry Jam directed us to write a love poem (I “missed” last week’s Poetry Jam, ie, couldn’t write an apt poem to save my life even though the prompt was a juicy one). Just something light and airy today, gott sei dank!
Love it! The ending echos the beginning, like the repetition of the gulls. Very nice!
Thanks, lolamouse.
oo la…like that echo at the end…there is a subtle sensuality in this as well…love the beach and its rhythm…
Brian (and lola, too)–it’s unusual for me to use that kind of a thing–the repetition. I’m not comfortable with it, but what the heck, right? Trying something new and I was feeling a bit light. I haven’t caught up reading the Jam poems yet, but I will pop over to see yours….
I have to say sorry – for this reminds me of a horror story entitled ‘O whistle and I’ll come to you my love.’ But in the nicest possible way! LOL
Well, we can’t control what prompts a memory, can we, and isn’t that the point of a writing prompt?
I like that it rang of something else for you. I think about this a lot–what precedes my writing that I don’t know or never will; whose words I’ve lifted because the tune of them is in my subconscious.
I tried to do a little on-line research of that line and I came up with a Burns’ poem/lyric as well as a horror story by yet someone else. Very interesting! I love it!
‘I called and you came’ ~ I love those words!
I like the repetition here. It brings out the sentiments so well…
alley and valley
Thanks for visiting, guatami. I love the poem you wrote that you linked to. It’s lovely.
Thanks for the feedback; like I said before, the repetition is not typical for me and I am glad it seems to work for folks. I’m needing to break out of my comfort zone by trying some stricter poetic forms, I can tell. But I’m not quite there yet. A little busy in my days right now.
I like this a lot – & I agree that the repetition is really nice.
it seems like a satisfying love.